Marriages and Divorce

It is said that Marriages are made in heaven. Marriage is an official public registration of man and a woman to live together and raise a family. Marriages are of two types, Love and Arranged marriage. Love marriages are those where a man and a woman get married to each other after courting for sometime and they know each other well. Arranged marriages are those where the couple doesn’t know each other before the family fix up their marriage. These are some basics of marriage.

So if marriages are a planned careful activity, why do couples get divorced? This is a million dollar question which has remained unjustified for ages.

Marriage is actually not a bond between a man and a woman. It is the admission of a woman into the man’s family. Whether it is love marriage or arranged, ultimately the woman leaves her parental home and joins her husband and his family at his home. Marriage is a relationship full of compromises and lesser love. Love however is not written off. When a man and a woman are courting, they can see only the good of each other. When they start living together, the darker shades come out in the open gradually. Now it’s a matter of acceptance between both to adjust and walk together ahead. In arranged marriages, it is almost the same scenario. The only difference is that both come to know about each others’ good and bad after marriage.

What is usually the cause of divorce? When a couple cannot adjust with each other, they call the marriage off. The whole discussion boils down to a couple of terms, compromise, adjustment, acceptance and selflessness. The divorce rates have sky rocketed in the past few years. This has happened because people like to be more and more independent these days. Tough career paths have added to the non compromising nature of people. Everybody has become selfish and self centered and hence one has become rigid than to bend a bit for good.

There are few things that people need to understand when they get married. Women should understand that they are moving into a completely different home and environment than what they have been brought up in. And hence things will not be the same as they have seen at their parental home. Hence they need to adjust. Men should also consider the fact that the wife will have some problems in adjusting initially with their family because they have been brought up in a completely different environment and home. Hence they need to be supportive so that the wife can quickly adjust to the atmosphere of the man’s home.

Similarly, the parents and family members of the man’s home should understand that it is not easy for a new entrant to get along with the new family. Hence they need to help the bride out.

If all of us can answer two simple questions, there will be lesser divorces and more happy families. These questions are:
1 If one has been writing with the right hand for 25 odd years, can one write in the same manner if asked to write with the left hand immediately?
2 If one cannot write with the left hand as good as one is used to writing with the right hand, shall one not practice writing with the left hand to achieve the feat?

Divorce is not a solution unless it is an irrecoverable marriage. Divorce means shying away from responsibilities. The one who applies for divorce is a looser unless that’s the only alternative left. Finally, it can be observed that more and more liberalization of individuals is gradually demeaning the importance of the institution of marriage.

Linus Orakles
http://www.authorclub.info/