Suspicion – An Enemy of Self

Suspicion comes from insecurity. Suspicion is usually linked with couples. We are not talking about the criminal suspicions today. What we are talking about is suspicion in a relationship. I don’t know how to describe suspicion but I will try.

Suspicion is when a spouse or a partner has a doubt on the other half about not being sincerely committed to them. I think I have been able to place the definition almost correctly. Suspicion usually comes out of insecurity; an insecurity of loosing one’s partner. People say that women are more suspicious than men. I have a different opinion. When most women are more attractive than their male counterparts, how can the man leave her and go to some other lady? Ok, now this is a debatable statement. Does physical attraction the only thing which holds the bond between a man and a woman? No, but the man definitely gets attracted towards a woman first by her looks. Most women do not look at the physical appearance aspect. But its not that good looks don’t matter. A handsome man would surely have women around him. Handsome, however, does not mean that the man has killing looks rather it means how he carries himself.

Women get attracted to men who give respect to them. By the way, why are we talking about attraction when we started talking about suspicion? No, we are not diverting from the topic at all. If you observe, these are also the reasons which inject suspicion in the minds of couples. A man gets attracted to a woman by her looks. And at the same time the woman gets attracted to the man by his smartness. When they start courting each other, they get to gradually know the shortcomings of each other as well. Somehow, everyone knows about their own shortcomings or drawbacks at the back of their minds. This creates insecurity in the partners. The woman becomes insecure that the man will get attracted to some other woman and the man becomes insecure thinking that his partner might leave him for someone else who is more sensible.

These insecurities lead to suspicion. The woman then suspects that the man is avoiding her and is courting some other girl. Even if the man is busy at his work, she would constantly pester him to make sure that he is not two timing her. This activity worsens the situation. The man gets so irritated that he starts avoiding his partner and eventually breaks up with her. On the other hand, the man becomes over possessive about the woman. He tries to keep a track of her activities and spies on where she is going and what she is doing. He would not let her go out and meet people. If she talks about her friends he would feel jealous. There comes a time that the girl gets disturbed with the over protectionism and tries to break free. This again leads to a break up.

See what suspicion does to a healthy relationship? Suspicion is a slow poison. And this poison can be avoided. It is our choice to consume this poison. It is more like unauthorized euthanasia of the relationship. The mantra of a good and healthy relationship is trust. If you trust your partner, there is no room for suspicion. There will be lesser law suits of divorces in the courts if suspicion is killed. Suspicion does not only affect the relationship, it also severely affects the state of mind of the individuals. It disturbs the routine work and reduces performance. Avoid suspicion and live happily.

Linus Orakles
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